New Initiative - Employee Happiness Kit

NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES!

All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company-approved supplies will be provided to each employee at little or no cost.

* Workloads getting to you?
* Feeling stressed?
* Too many priorities and assignments?


Here is the new low-cost, company-approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!

Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands. (See Fig 1.)

Fig 1.

Assemble items as shown in Fig 2.

Fig 2.

Apply as shown in Fig 3.


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Fig 3.

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

The Management

Bank Ad!

Poor Husband

A wife mentioned to her husband that for her birthday, she would like something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in four seconds. She was expecting something like this........

But her husband presented her with something very different...

[Scroll down]

The husband is in a critical state ,but in a stable condition in ICU

Cost Cutting

The only dictionary you'll ever need!

Overconfidence is not good for health

Hilarious website!

Naughty Kodak Moments

Cosmetic Breast Surgery Victim Sues Surgeon

Cosmetic breast surgery victim sues her surgeon


Surgeon says,"They look okay to me!"

Engrish

Never Give Up

Another of Einstein's Theories

Einstein's was born March 14, 1879. He would be 128 if he were alive today.

Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so well endowed.

He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be know as...

Einstein's Theory of 'Relative Titty'

Aircraft Loo SOS

Have you noticed that all aircraft loos have an "Attendant Call" button? Since there wasn't much for me to do except shuffle and grunt, I got thinking of a couple of wierd scenarios that could cause it to be pressed. So here goes:

• Yiiiiiikes, no tissue!!!!
• I can't breathe in here. Do you have some air freshener?
  
• Ouieeeee... My pecker is stuck in my zipper.... Could someone call a doctor?
• What's a 3-letter word for "a type of candy"?
• I am going to take a while here... Asian vegetarian meal for 36D in case you start serving food
• Can you get me a beer please?
• Look how high I peed
• (When the seat belt sign is on) Where's my seat belt? The flight crew did not mention this in their instructions...
  
• (Someone with no arms like the Thakur in Sholay) Ma'am, I am done here. Could you please wipe my ...

A no-touch electronic urinal

Look what I found on my recent visit to Beijing. The fulfillment of every man's dream. A no-touch electronic urinal. Can you believe that? It's an answer to the prayers of those who had to fumble around while having their hands full (or gainfully occupied).

Quite a marvel of modern engineering, I must say. It must have taken a mix of robotics, AI, biology, ballistics, not to mention rocket science, to build this masterpiece. How does it work? Perhaps, a gloved robotic hand that unzips your pants, takes your pecker out, directs the fountain and puts it back in after a mandatory shake or two.

I did not take it for a test drive despite all my curiosity. In their quest to make things cheaper, the Chinese are known to take a snip or two at quality. The painful thought of having my pecker caught in the zipper came to mind. Also, as much as I'd like to be well hung as the next guy, having it inadvertently stretched around would not be my favorite method. In these "delicate" matters, you need to be extra sure that it works right before you take it for a "spin" (or rather the other way around - before it takes you for a spin). After all, we are talking about the part of our anatomy that does most of the thinking for us.

Hopefully, the next time I go back, I will google the feedback on this beaut to ensure that it is well tested and go for a controlled leak (the way Chinese Big Brother expects me to pee). I could definitely get used to this. Think of all that you can do now with your hands like picking your nose, scratching your bum (if someone could do something about that "hard to get to" itch), fingering your armpits (for that whiff of pleasure), etc.

Housekeeping Article from 1955

Don't you just feel this way sometimes?

Marathi Graffiti

Drinking Problem

Notice Board in Bihar

Get healed of English grammar and syntax