Thursday, December 28, 2006

Taliban Matrimonial

Funny Taliban Matrimonial

बेरोज़गारी

नदी में डूबते हुए आदमी ने
पुल पर चलते हुए आदमी को
आवाज़ लगायी "बचाओ बचाओ"
पुल पर चलते आदमी ने नीचे
रस्सी फेकी और कहा आओ...


नदी में डूबता हुआ आदमी
रस्सी नहीं पकड़ पा रहा था
रह रह कर चिल्ला रहा था
में मरना नहीं चाहता
ज़िन्दगी बड़ी मेहेंगी है
कल ही थो मेरी एक MNC कंपनी में
नौकरी लगी है...

इतना सुनते ही पूल पर चलते
आदमी ने अपनी रस्सी खीच ली
और भागते भागते वो MNC कंपनी गया
उसने वहां के HR को बताया की
अभी अभी एक आदमी डूबकर मर गया है
और इसमें तरह आपकी कंपनी में एक
जगह खाली कर गया है...
में बेरोजगार हूँ मुझे ले लो...

HR बोली दोस्त तुमने देर कर दी, अब से कुछ देर
पहले हमने उस आदमी को लगाया है
जो उससे धक्का दे कर तुमसे पहले यहाँ आया है!!!!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

One Liners

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the
other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they
wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased
new school uniforms.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot
live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books

Monday, December 18, 2006

Thinking of accessorising your PC? Some items for your consideration...

Ignorance is bliss they say. Clearly "they" underestimated the power of
stupidity.

Check out the Top 10 weirdest USB devices ever

Wonder which one is the top seller?

Family Feud Loser Answers

Name something a blind person might use - A sword
Name a song with moon in the title - Blue suede moon
Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar
Name a famous brother & sister - Bonnie & Clyde
Name a dangerous race - The Arabs
Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse
Name something that floats in the bath - Water
Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair
Name something Red - My cardigan
Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers
Name a famous royal - Mail
A number you have to memorize - 7
Something you do before going to bed - Sleep
Something you put on walls - Roofs
Something in the garden that's green - Shed
Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings
Something you might be allergic to - Skiing
Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters
Something a cat does - Goes to the toilet
Something you do in the bathroom - Decorate
Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog
Something associated with the police - Pigs
A sign of the zodiac - April
Something slippery - A conman [Well, at least this one makes a little sense.]
A kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish
A food that can be brown or white - Potato
A jacket potato topping - Jam
A famous Scotsman - Jock
Another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones
Something with a hole in it - Window
A non living object with legs - Plant
A domestic animal - Leopard
A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee
A way of cooking fish - Cod
Something you open other than a door - Your Bowels

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Best beer in the world

After a Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided
to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Senor, I would like the
world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from
the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give
me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky
Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guiness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The
bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you
drinking a Guiness?" and the Guiness resident replies "Well, if you
guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."