Saturday, May 10, 2008

Q: What do you call a gujju with no knees?
A: Knee-less (Nilesh)


Mara maran par tame aansoo na bahavsho,
Mara maran par dosto gam na karsho
Mari yad aave to sidha upar j aavjo!


Jivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi


Tu hase chhe jyare jyare,
tyare tyare tara gaal ma khada padechhe.
Hu vicharu chhu betho betho
ke mara shivay aa khada ma ketla pade chhe!


G - gentle
U - understanding
J - jolly
A - adorable
R - royal
A - aggresive
T - tough
I - intelligent
This much quality only 1 cast have,
Yes, its GUJARATI..


Bolya kare a maitri,
chup rahe a prem
milan karave a maitri,
judai satave a prem
hasave a maitri,
radave a prem,
to pan loko maitri mukine kem kare chhe prem??!!


Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa,
kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: DHOKLA


Inglish !
These four classified ads appeared in a local newspaper on four consecutive days.

The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.
MONDAY: For sale: SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 25550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred In SK Shah's ad yesterday. It should have read 'One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.'
WEDNESDAY: Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: 'For sale: SK Shah has A sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 25550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him.'
THURSDAY Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 25550707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!


Shu karu fariyaad tari,
Fariyaad ma yaad chhe
Fari fari ne yaad tari,
Ej mari fariyaad chhe!


Dictionary:
Sano...........Snow
Egg-joss.......Exhaust
Fota...........Photos
Lipti..........Lipstick
Phast..........Fast
Phlowur........Flower
Gilas..........Glass
Palty..........Party
Gorment........Government
Peeja..........Pizza
Punch..........Sponge
Die Vos........Divorce
New Brand......Brand New
Istill.........Steel
Bowel..........Bowl
Jee TV.........Zee TV
Juniversity....University
Istawbury......Strawberry
Isscooter......Scooter
dismiss........Screwdriver
Kale...........Tomorrow and Yesterday
Vija...........Visa
A Pot.........Airport
Lila...........Dollar
Rani............Pound Sterling
Jadu..........African
Hedhrow..... Heathrow

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Why should I go school?

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school"

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Penis theft hits the city

This interesting and bizarre bit of news is available here. I, for one, am looking at putting my family jewels in a bank vault. (that is if modern medicine can get me a detachable penis)