Frustrations of a married man

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. he was wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went crazy. he jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. he was obviously very excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. he suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. she played along and the gorilla got extremely excited, now making noises that would wake the dead.

Then, the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to show a little more skin. she did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down!

"Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. this drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips and charging the bars!

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said, "now, tell him you have a headache and you are not in the mood now!! "

True Computer Nerd

That One Minute

Once, a smart software engineer and his project manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grandma. Within some time, eye-eye interactions started between our software engineer and the girl. After some minutes, the train started moving into a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping. Everybody remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel. Grandma thought, "The guy is a rogue; how dare he? He has kissed my granddaughter! But my granddaughter immediately slapped that guy."

The project manager thought, "I can't believe that this guy kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

The girl thought, "I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grandma slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever software engineer thought?

"This *one minute* in my life is wonderful. It's a rare moment. I have kissed a girl and slapped my project manager at the same time"

Difference - Men and Women

TWO WOMEN TALKING:

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

TWO MEN TALKING

Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.

Performance Pressure