A radio conversation between a US Navy ship off the coast of England and some British maritime authority
British voice: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.
American voice: Recommend you divert course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
British voice: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.
American voice: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
British voice: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
American Voice: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN.THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. WE DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I REPEAT CHANGE COURSE 15 DEGREES TO NORTH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
British Voice: We are a LIGHTHOUSE you moron. Just divert your course if you want to save your ass!!
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